Watchmen Review

Okay, I'm not going to bullshit about seeing this movie a week ago. It was like a month or so. I am also not going to lie about reading the graphic novel. It came out in 1986. I was minus four years old. So fuck you if you expect me to read it. So to continue on about the movie. I enjoyed it, end of review.

No, I can say more than that. The Watchmen movie surprised me. I thought I would enjoy it, but not as much as I did. I mean the movie was just awe inspiring. I mean this movie contains things you just will not see in other super hero movies; rape, generations of heroes, psychopaths, prison fights and a flying owl...thing. It also has super violence. You know how the jokers mouth was fucked up in the dark knight and that was fucked up. Yea this entire move is a smorgasbord of fucked up moments. ((glad I got to use smorgasbord)) However I won't talk about them. The characters were very interesting.

1. Rorschach or as I called him many times in the theater "OH SHIT!" Rorscach wears an ink blot mask. The ink blot test was invented by a doctor who's last name was Rorschach. Out of any character in the movie he is the most liked among the people I saw it with. Even though he is clearly an insane man with no limits. I think nearly every ten minutes of the movie, Rorschach did something so bad ass I had the urge to high five the twenty foot tall hero. That is a rare feeling I have only gotten from this movie and The Mask. Granted I was much younger when I saw The Mask. So far this year Rorschach is my favorite new movie character.

2. Nite Owl or as I called him "FAT PUSSY!" I get the character. He is suppose to be an old wash up that balances out the crazy antics of Rorscach. I just couldn't like him that much. I mean he plays second fiddle through out the movie. And is the only male with a sex scene. Which will surprise people who have heard about the glowing blue penis.

3. That would be Doctor Manhattan. Or as I called him, "Is that a glowing blue penis?" Thats all I have seen other reviewers and forums talk about. However, the character is a complex, god like hero. He is every one's savior and has a hard time dealing with it. Most of the heroes semi-despise him for varies reasons. He has a complex story that most can't understand and he battles with his intense emotions although most others can't even comprehend how he feels. Also he has a glowing blue penis.

4. The female lead is Silk Spectre. Or as I called her, "Annoying Whining Bitch." Why would I call her this? She whines the whole goddamn movie. About one thing and then another. I mean here she is in a perfect situation and she continuously bitches about it. Meanwhile others try to save the world and it just gets annoying towards the end of the movie. I realize that the fault lies with the story, but damn it!

5. The Comedian, or as I called him, "Awww what an asshole." How ever I loved the hero. I mean he is every anti hero rolled into one. He is the guy that just blew through anything in his path. You only see him in flash backs, but damn is he a dick. I wish I could say more, but I can't with out ruining plot points of the move. The very sight of him would make viewers of the movie cringe.

This is a movie with a great sound track. It is set in an alternative time line and has gore from beginning to end. This one is a no brainer.

9.7 smiley face lapels out of 10.7