Two Week Notice

I was thinking about all the jobs I have had and I am hoping to get a new one. One big thing came to mind. The two week notice, if you have ever had a job you probably know that the two week notice is how you quit. You say, "hey boss I'm outta here in two weeks." This gives them enough time to completely replace you with another mindless drone who needs money. I have done this about five times. However that's not the point. The point is I was thinking and you know what?

Why don't people who commit suicide do this? I mean there friends and family could get braced for the tragedy and they could ask to take shit before the person dies that why they don't need to argue over it. Plus it would make your last two weeks at Wal-Mart a lot more interesting. Maybe you need to go to the government and fill out your suicide papers before you declare your two weeks. Make them do it at the DMV. Don't worry the suicidal won't become homicidal because the last thing they will want to do, is to get there two week notice homicide papers filled out.

Suicide isn't the only thing this could work for though. What about rape. I think rape would be a lot more gentlemanly if we gave fair warning. You know, I mean rape is so barbaric. If we inject it with some bureaucracy it might be a bit more enjoyable for both parties. I mean the rapist has something to look forward to and maybe he will even bring flowers. The raped gets a chance to avoid the rape? I mean that's more classy than most sports! You could put that shit on TV. I imagine it would be a lot like other funny sitcoms. Instead of scrubs or how I met your mother. We could call it, how I met your mother in the shrubs.

Two week notices could be used in a variety of ways. If I think of any more I will post them here.